


Walled and Wrecked

by felixs_thigh_highs



Series: Burn Until We Meet Again [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, During Timeskip (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Golden Deer Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Golden Deer Sylvain Jose Gautier, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, Soft Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Tsundere Felix Hugo Fraldarius, War, selfless lover Sylvain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23601010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixs_thigh_highs/pseuds/felixs_thigh_highs
Summary: “Can I ask you something else?”Though grateful for the change of subject, Felix huffed. “If you must.”“You can say no.” Sylvain shuffled his feet a little, as though unsure about what he wanted to ask or just trying to stall.Felix was tired of Sylvain’s enigmatic behavior tonight. “Sylvain, just ask the question already!”Letting out a nervous breath, Sylvain faced him head-on. “Can I kiss you?”...Amidst the war against the Empire, Sylvain finally gathers enough courage to confess his feelings to Felix.(4/23/20: edited for some errors. Hopefully it also flows better now and is more in character.)
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: Burn Until We Meet Again [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1655503
Comments: 4
Kudos: 106





	1. Walled

**Author's Note:**

> The rest of the series has been a lot of angst so far, so I knew I needed some fluff. Have a first kiss fic! I was inspired by this fanart, even though it's Felix/Byleth. It was so sweet and so Felix, so I wanted to incorporate the visuals.
> 
> https://twitter.com/ribelle0804/status/1162005743157030913

The fight against the Faerghus Dukedom was not going well. 

The border with Sreng had been quiet of late, even with the war raging in Fódlan. It was still a war zone, but quieter than it had been in years past, easily held by the Gautier soldiers. So Margrave Gautier had let Sylvain go down to Fraldarius the previous year at Rodrigue’s request, to help hold the line against the Imperial army. Sylvain was more than happy to leave Gautier; being holed up with his father had been unpleasant, and he was excited to see Felix again. After Garreg Mach fell, they and Ingrid had escaped together and traveled back to their respective territories to prepare for war. Sylvain had wanted to stay in Fraldarius then, but Felix had convinced him that he could handle his own territory and that Sylvain needed to at least check in with his father. Sylvain had left reluctantly, pulling Felix into a bear hug and promising to return soon. To his credit, Felix didn’t resist the hug, merely averting his eyes and grunting a goodbye when Sylvain released him.

Then three years passed before they saw each other again. The margrave had kept Sylvain busy, alternately sending him to the Sreng border to patrol and having him help run Gautier by sitting in on audiences with lesser nobles and handling a portion of the paperwork and correspondence. When Rodrigues’s letter arrived asking for help in Fraldarius, the margrave only reluctantly agreed to allow Sylvain to leave, making him vow to return if he and the Lance of Ruin were needed.

Now Sylvain and Felix had been fighting side by side for a year, and the thrill of being with his best friend again had faded. It was the same thing day in and day out. Sylvain was growing weary of constantly fighting without any sign of turning the tide. Some days, he longed to abandon the frontlines and leave Fódlan altogether, dragging Felix kicking and screaming with him if need be. He could tell that his friend was also feeling the strain, though Felix would never admit something like that out loud.

Oh, Felix.

Sylvain leaned back from the map spread out before him in the Fraldarius war room, threading his fingers behind his head and smiling at the thought of the swordsman. They had both grown in strength during the past four years of war, but Felix had become a capable general and a brilliant military tactician. His unconventional strategies had proven useful in many battles, saving Sylvain’s own skin countless times. His men looked up to him and trusted him unflinchingly on the battlefield.

More than that, though, Felix had matured into a handsome young man. Because of his rigorous training regimen, his lithe body had grown muscular and somehow more agile, if that was possible. He had lost the softness of his youth, his formerly round face now characterized by sharpness: eyes, cheekbones, jawline. He kept his inky hair shorter, tied back in a messy ponytail, and cut his fringe with his sword when it grew into his face and interfered with his training. The copper eyes and perpetual scowl remained, however, as did the tender heart behind the stony facade. Sylvain fell a little bit more in love with that man everyday.

Sylvain sighed. He had been loving from afar for years now, unsure of how or if he should confess his feelings to his friend. He wasn’t worried about being rejected; Goddess knew he had grown a pretty thick skin during his years of wooing, bedding, and brushing off girls. No, he was worried that Felix wouldn’t feel the same and confessing would cause a rift between them that would make fighting together that much more difficult, possibly putting their men in danger. Or, best case scenario, Felix did reciprocate, but he would grow distracted or reckless in battle in an effort to protect Sylvain and get himself killed. 

It seemed like a no-win situation, so Sylvain kept his mouth shut. However, that didn’t stop him from stealing glances at Felix, like when he grew so hot while sparring with Sylvain that he threw off his shirt and continued, bare chest glistening with sweat, muscles rippling with each jab and parry. (Sylvain lost that match.) Or when he bathed in a stream while they were out on a campaign, water dripping from his loose hair and disappearing into the waist-high water between the dimples at the small of his back. (Sylvain had had to stay in the stream for longer than he needed to wash himself, waiting for a certain part of himself to calm down.) Or when he stood up and stretched during a long strategy meeting and a thin strip of skin appeared between the hem of his shirt and the waistband of his pants. Admittedly, though, when that had happened, Felix had caught his glance and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Sylvain had just winked at Felix and replied to a comment from his battalion leader as if nothing had happened, graciously ignoring the furious blush on the swordsman’s face.

It was getting harder to keep his feelings to himself as the war dragged on. Felix was appearing in more of his dreams than not, and images from the fantasies he created in the dark privacy of his own room had begun to pop into Sylvain’s head at inopportune times, like while teaching his squire the proper way to brush out a horse’s mane (pulling Felix’s hair while he swirled his tongue around Sylvain…). If he hadn’t been so mortified and preoccupied with hiding his arousal, Sylvain might have laughed at the aghast look on the teen’s face after he inadvertently yanked on the horse’s hair, causing it to whinny angrily and rear back.

“Whoa, girl, sorry,” Sylvain soothed, as he patted the mare’s neck and fed her a sugar cube he had pulled from the bag hanging from the squire’s belt. He addressed the boy, not meeting his eyes. “Um, yeah, don’t do that and you’ll be fine. Excuse me, I just remembered, uh, a meeting I have to attend.” He rushed from the stables to his room, thankfully not meeting anyone on the way, and took care of his embarrassing problem. That was when he decided that he needed to confess his feelings, for his own sanity.

...

After that evening’s officers’ meeting, while Felix was stacking up the military reports that had been strewn across the war map during their discussion, Sylvain came up beside him to lean on the table, his arms crossed in front of his chest in an oddly defensive manner.

“Hey, Fe, what are you doing the rest of the evening?” Sylvain was speaking in his unaffected, casual voice, the one he used when he asked a question where the answer was really important to him for some reason but he didn’t want you to know it. Throughout their years of friendship, Felix had come to know Sylvain’s social quirks pretty well; his tones of voice, his body language, even his various grins and smiles. Sylvain thought he was skilled at hiding what he really thought and felt, and maybe he was. Just not from Felix.

Felix narrowed his eyes slightly at the redhead, confused about the usage of that tone of voice and his nickname. “I was going to evaluate the Dukedom army’s most recent movements some more before I headed to bed. Why?”

Sylvain put his hands behind his head, his attempt at being nonchalant, which Felix saw right through. “Well, it’s just such a nice night, I thought we could have some tea on your terrace or something. We haven’t had much downtime lately, and I thought it might do us both some good to unwind a little before we have to head back out into the fray.”

Rolling his eyes, Felix turned from the table and Sylvain to place the stack of papers on the desk behind him. He was using the distraction to delay his response so he didn’t seem too eager. It was true that they hadn’t much time to just sit and chat in the recent months and it might be nice to talk about something besides war tactics and battalion placements. In a moment of softness, Felix decided to indulge him without argument.

“Only if you get up and train with me in the morning,” Felix conceded, turning back to face Sylvain, hand on his hip.

The knight’s face lit up. “It’s a deal! I’ll go get the tea and meet you up there in ten minutes.”

Before Felix could say anything else, Sylvain had dashed from the room, followed by the sound of his spurs jingling down the hall. Either he was desperate for tea or he had some ulterior motive; Sylvain never woke up at the crack of dawn, as Felix did, much less to train. Felix’s stomach clenched at the thought that maybe Sylvain was buttering him up to be his wingman as he hunted for girls in the town surrounding Fraldarius manor. He hadn’t seen the redhead with any arm candy since he had come to Fraldarius, so Sylvain must have been hurting for female companionship. 

Felix briefly considered hiding in the guest quarters for the night, standing Sylvain up so he didn’t have to be a part of his skirt-chasing. Then he remembered the earnest, excited look in the older man’s face and decided against that. There were any number of soldiers willing to be Sylvain’s number two, and Felix had made it pretty clear throughout the years that he had no interest in wooing girls with Sylvain. What was his game then? His curiosity piqued, Felix made his way to his quarters.

When he arrived on the terrace, Sylvain had already set out some snacks (dried fruit and spiced nuts) and poured the tea, Felix’s favorite Almyran Pine Needle if the earthy smell was any indication. Now Felix  _ knew _ that Sylvain was up to something; Sylvain always wrinkled his nose at the aroma of the pine needles, saying something about how tea should smell like citrus not a forest. When Felix walked over to the table and sat down, still wary, Sylvain beamed at him and handed over a cup of tea. Felix took a sip, letting the warmth of the tea settle into his body before he turned suspicious eyes on Sylvain.

“You know, if you have a favor you need to ask me, you can just ask. No need for the pretense.”

Sylvain’s smile faltered, remaining on his face through sheer force of will. “Can’t a guy just want to spend some time with his all-time favorite person?”

Felix fixed him with a stare. “You’ve been acting strange all day. It’s annoying. Be straight with me and tell me what’s on your mind. “

Sylvain opened his mouth to answer Felix’s question, but the words died on his lips. Sighing, he stood up and walked to the terrace balustrade. He put his hands on the stone and looked out over the moonlit countryside and the dark water of the bay in the distance.

“How long do you think this war will last?” His voice was quiet and serious, a departure from his usual jocular tone. This abrupt change in Sylvain’s demeanor worried Felix. Walking to his friend’s side, Felix tried to read his face from the side, but there was a mask in place that even he didn’t recognize.

“I don’t know,” Felix finally answered, following Sylvain’s gaze to the bay. “But I have to see it through. After all the atrocities that Edelgard and Cornelia have committed, the Empire cannot be allowed to stand. We owe it to the professor. We owe it to the b--” He stopped and lowered his head, unwilling or unable to finish his thought. No one had seen Dimitri’s body, so he held out hope, somewhere deep down, that maybe the prince was still alive somehow.

Sylvain didn’t press that line of questioning, likely knowing exactly what Felix had intended to say. “Can I ask you something else?”

Though grateful for the change of subject, Felix huffed. “If you must.”

“You can say no.” Sylvain shuffled his feet a little, as though second-guessing what he wanted to ask or just trying to stall.

Felix was tired of Sylvain’s enigmatic behavior tonight. “Sylvain, just ask the question already!”

Letting out a nervous breath, Sylvain faced him head-on. “Can I kiss you?”

Felix’s eyes widened as his head slowly swiveled toward the man next to him. For once, no witty or scathing reply shot from his mouth. Rather, he was struck speechless. He studied Sylvain intently, seeking any trace of mockery or insincerity, but he found none. Instead, Sylvain’s russet eyes were shining with genuine emotion, though tinged with...uncertainty? Fear? His lips were upturned just a bit at the corners encouragingly, and his body language was completely open, shoulders relaxed, arms at his side.

Felix was at war with himself. He wanted desperately to close the gap between them and never let go of Sylvain. With this war, you never knew when it would be the last time for anything, a last conversation, a last glance, a last chance to kiss the person you’ve been in love with for almost half your life. But he was also terrified of losing the walls he had built up between himself and the world for the past nine years, and admitting how much he cared for this idiot in front of him would be the first step to knocking them all down. And what if he was just another conquest for Sylvain? Though admittedly, Sylvain’s reputation was with girls, not guys. But maybe he was just dipping his toes in the other side of the pond and he thought that Felix would be an easy mark. That made no sense, though, because when had Felix ever shown any sort of interest in romance with either sex?

All these thoughts raced through his head as Sylvain stood there, apprehension growing into regret on his face. Felix knew he had to say something before Sylvain just laughed this off as a joke and they pretended it never happened. And suddenly, Felix was angry at being put into this position without warning, at finally having to confront his best friend about these feelings they had been dancing around for years. All the lingering glances and soft touches, the flirty exchanges that Felix had explained away as Sylvain being Sylvain. Had they actually meant more than Felix had thought? If so, what did Sylvain expect to happen now, when they were at war, and Dimitri was dead, and everything had been thrown into chaos?

“You have the shittiest timing, you know that?” Felix railed at Sylvain, punctuating his comment with a push against his armor and causing the knight to take a few steps backwards toward the stone wall of the manor.

Sylvain raised his eyebrows, taken aback by his friend’s sudden fury. “What do you mean by--?”

Felix crossed his arms tightly in front of his chest, forming a sort of armor of his own, a physical manifestation of those protective walls he had worked so hard to construct, now wobbling as their foundation was being undermined by a pair of caramel eyes.

“ _ I mean, _ now is when you choose to try to initiate a relationship with me?  _ Now _ ? Do I need to list all the reasons why that is a terrifically  _ idiotic _ idea?” He was starting to breathe more heavily now, whether from anger at Sylvain or yearning for him or a combination thereof, he didn’t know. He stepped closer, so close that each time he exhaled, a little circle of fog appeared on Sylvain’s armored chest.

Realization began to dawn on Sylvain’s face that Felix wasn’t saying no or calling him crazy for even considering the idea of them being together. Gaining confidence at the lack of an outright refusal, he stroked Felix’s cheek with his knuckles, eyes softening with affection.

“Fe…”

But Felix wasn’t ready to be placated yet. He jerked back and slapped the hand on his cheek, glaring at the redhead and pushing on his armor again. “No, Sylvain. You can’t just make doe eyes at me and call me that nickname and expect everything to work out the way you want it to. Not with me.” 

He had backed Sylvain against the wall by this point. Placing his right hand on the wall over Sylvain’s shoulder, Felix grabbed his chin with his left and pulled him down to his eye level. Sylvain complied with the unspoken command by bending his knees, still gazing lovingly at Felix, completely unfazed by his rage.

“You’re so reckless and infuriating and irresponsible.” Felix continued his tirade, closing the distance between their faces with each adjective. “And selfless and kind and…” A slight blush colored his cheeks as he bit back the word “attractive.” The anger had faded from his copper eyes, and now they burned with a different kind of fire. His lips curled into the slightest of smiles as he closed his eyes, leaned in, and kissed Sylvain.

The walls between them were so much metaphorical dust and rubble now, and Felix found that he didn’t mind. His mouth moved against Sylvain’s like they were made to be together. His heart pounded against his rib cage like it had in the knights’ hall that night five years ago, with Sylvain’s chest pressed to his back, cradling his arms in his own, helping him practice his magic casting. What had been literal sparks then were now only figurative, yet somehow these sparks felt more powerful than the magical ones had, like lightning coursing through his body.

Sylvain brought his left hand up to grasp the hand on his chin and squeezed, bringing Felix from the knights’ hall back to the terrace. Felix realized what he was doing and he was shocked at his own actions. His entire face began to burn in embarrassment, from the tips of his ears down into the collar of his black turtleneck. Letting go of Sylvain’s chin, he broke the kiss and buried his face in the red fur lining Sylvain’s collar, never meeting his eyes.

Chuckling, Sylvain wrapped his arms around the swordsman and patted his back, letting him have a few moments to process what had just happened. But what  _ had _ just happened? This had all seemingly come out of nowhere, and Felix wasn’t entirely sure that he was reading the situation correctly. There was no way that Sylvain actually returned these feelings that Felix had had since he knew what it meant to love someone in a non-platonic way. He needed some answers. 

“Why? Why now?” Felix’s passion was waning, replaced by self-doubt and indecision. “Why me?” he whispered into Sylvain’s neck.

Leaning his head against the smaller man’s, Sylvain reached down and took both of Felix’s hands, intertwining their fingers. Felix’s hands felt small wrapped up in Sylvain’s, but the touch was soothing all the same. Sylvain had always been warm and all-encompassing, and Felix let himself melt into the knight as he began to speak.

“It’s always been you, Felix, and I’ve been so stupid to wait until now to own up to it. When we were kids, I loved you like a little brother, watching out for you, consoling you when you were sad, teaching you what little I knew about life. Then Glenn died, and you retreated into yourself and grew so angry at everything. I couldn’t take away the pain, but I wanted to be for you what Miklan never was for me. I wanted to be a soft place for you to land, a lifeline to humanity when you felt like you were drowning in grief.” He let out a huffed laugh. “I don’t know if I achieved any of that, but it’s why I stuck so close to you, even though you really didn’t want me to. I couldn’t stand to see you to go through the darkness I had endured as a child, feeling abandoned by the one person I wanted most to show me love.”

Sylvain paused at the memory of his brother. Though Miklan had hated Sylvain from the moment he knew about his Crest and what it meant, Sylvain had always loved his brother and wanted a relationship with him, even one like the dysfunctional one Felix had had with Glenn. Conand Tower had almost broken Sylvain, and Felix had been there to hold him together. Felix squeezed Sylvain’s hands to comfort him through the painful memories. Sylvain cleared his throat and continued, his voice slightly thick with lingering emotion.

“Then you were made a squire and I didn’t see you until we reunited at the academy. You had changed, growing even more closed off from the world, but you had also matured into a gorgeous young man, and I found myself enamored with you. I never thought there was any chance you could possibly reciprocate my affections, so I buried them deep down and covered them up with women. The look and feel of them was so different from you, I was almost able to forget about you when I was with them. But none of those trysts ever meant a damn thing to me. They were nothing but a distraction, something to keep my mind off you.” He wrapped his arms around the younger man’s waist and pulled him up against him, as much as his armor would allow. “I don’t want to lose any more time with you. I love you, Fe.”

Felix rested his hands on the fabric of Sylvain’s hip capelet and nuzzled against his neck, his heart threatening to leap out of his chest in joy. “Syl, I…” Words had never come easily to Felix, especially such emotionally charged ones. Sylvain had just delivered this beautiful, heart-wrenching, soul-bearing speech, and Felix knew that anything he could say would pale in comparison, so he faltered.

Sylvain put his hand on Felix’s cheek and maneuvered his face so he could catch his gaze. “You don’t have to say anything.” He kissed his forehead, letting his lips linger as he whispered, “I know.”


	2. Wrecked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously...
> 
> “I don’t want to lose any more time with you. I love you, Fe.”
> 
> Felix rested his hands on the fabric of Sylvain’s hip capelet and nuzzled against his neck, his heart threatening to leap out of his chest in joy. “Syl, I…” Words had never come easily to Felix, especially such emotionally charged ones. Sylvain had just delivered this beautiful, heart-wrenching, soul-bearing speech, and Felix knew that anything he could say would pale in comparison, so he faltered.
> 
> Sylvain put his hand on Felix’s cheek and maneuvered his face so he could catch his gaze. “You don’t have to say anything.” He kissed his forehead, letting his lips linger as he whispered, “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first smut! I took a lot of inspiration from all the wonderful fics I've read on here. Hope you enjoy!

A mischievous twinkle shone in Sylvain’s eyes as he drew back from their embrace and locked eyes with Felix. “What I  _ don’t _ know is what you would like to do with this new-found knowledge of yours.”

Now that emotional confession time was over, Felix decided to throw all caution to the wind. Sylvain talked too damn much and he was tired of all the talk. After over a decade of desire, it was time for some action. Smirking, he brought one of his hands around from Sylvain’s back to the front of his red shorts and stroked. Sylvain’s eyes widened in shock before fluttering shut in pleasure. A gasp left his lips as he melted against the wall.

“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into with that kind of behavior, Felix.” His voice was low and husky as his eyes pierced Felix from under hooded eyelids.

“Believe me, I know exactly what I’m doing.” Felix palmed him again, a little harder this time, delighting in the fact that Sylvain was already half-hard from a kiss and two strokes.

Groaning with desire, Sylvain reached down and picked Felix up, strong arms supporting his upper back and behind his knees. Felix actually let loose a laugh as his breath was knocked from his chest at literally being swept off his feet. He threw his arms around Sylvain’s neck and allowed himself to be carried inside and tossed onto his bed. Sylvain’s expression was almost dangerous as he surveyed the man splayed out on the blankets, russet eyes dark with lust, one corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk. He looked Felix up and down, his eyes slowly roaming over the swordsman’s slender body, picturing what lay underneath the leather and fur. When his gaze landed on the bulge in Felix’s pants, he bit his bottom lip. Felix felt a thrill rush through him at the intensity of the ogling.

“Your move, Gautier,” he quipped to dispel the tension between them and get things moving again.

A low growl rumbled from Sylvain’s throat as his hands attacked the buckles and straps on the armor encasing his body, eyes never leaving Felix. Felix rid himself of his shoulder spaulder, sword belt, hooded cloak, and boots while he watched Sylvain, mentally filing away where each fastener was and what it was attached to. Sylvain made quick work of his armor and crawled onto the bed in his soft underclothes, hovering over Felix and supporting himself on his elbows.

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve thought about this moment? About the many different ways this could play out?” His left hand played with Felix’s ponytail, stroking the soft hair and twirling it around his fingers as he spoke. 

“I do. I’ve thought about it too. And I’m tired of waiting.” Felix pulled on Sylvain’s hips to bring their bodies together.

Sylvain moaned as his erection pressed against Felix’s and began kissing the swordsman in earnest.  _ Easy to coax noises out of _ , Felix added to his mental Sylvain file. Of course, that shouldn’t have been a surprise because Sylvain never shut up in normal circumstances, so why should this be any different? The real trick would be getting him to keep his passionate sounds to himself. Felix imagined hiding under a desk and sucking Sylvain off while he tried to have a conversation with one of the battalion leaders. He began another mental file for fantasies to recreate in real life. 

Just then, Sylvain rolled his hips down into Felix’s, the jolt of pleasure snapping him sharply back to the present moment. Sylvain chuckled at the startled expression on his lover’s face.

“Where’d you go? Looked like I had lost you there for a bit.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Felix replied, nibbling the knight’s earlobe.

“Actually, yeah, I would. I want to know everything you fantasize about, so I can fulfill it for you.” Sylvain was trying to maintain his cool composure, but his voice was strained, as if it took all his focus to speak with Felix biting and sucking whatever he could reach.

“Maybe I’ll tell you someday. Maybe. Not right now. Right now, I want…” Felix wasn’t sure how to verbalize all that he wanted, so he settled on the simplest answer. “I want you.”

“You’ve got me. Anything you want. Just ask.” He kissed Felix deep and slow, grinding a steady rhythm with his hips. “My body is yours to command,” he breathed against Felix’s lips.

“Mine.” Felix had to see how the word felt when he said it aloud. It felt pretty fucking fantastic.

Desire overtook him then, and he needed to feel Sylvain’s skin against his. He pushed the larger man off of him onto the bed and sat up to pull his turtleneck over his head. Sylvain was so captivated by the sight of a bare-chested Felix that he just stared up at him, unmoving. Felix’s patience was growing thin, so he reached down and removed Sylvain’s undershirt himself, tossing it behind him. He ran his long fingers over the knight’s chiseled torso, pausing after each bump of ab muscle and tracing the V of his hips. His hands were now at the button of Sylvain’s red shorts, and he glanced up at Sylvain and quirked an eyebrow as if to ask permission to continue.

“Please, yes,” Sylvain gasped, frozen in place lying on the bed, as though afraid that if he moved too quickly he would spook the swordsman. Felix appreciated the fact that Sylvain was letting him lead because, even though he wanted this so badly, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, so he wanted to ease into this as much as his patience would allow.

Felix undid the button and pulled the shorts, black leggings, and smalls from Sylvain, depositing them on the floor with the rest of their discarded garments. He crawled back up, eyes raking over his lover’s nude body, and straddled his lap. 

“You can touch me,” Felix assured him, and Sylvain’s hands immediately settled on his hips as he looked up expectantly, waiting for the younger man to make the next move. 

“Finish stripping me.” Felix’s voice was firm and commanding, and Sylvain reacted instantly.

The larger man flipped their positions, placing Felix back on the bed while he leaned over him to unlace his teal pants and pull them off, along with his smalls. Now they were both laid bare, naked and vulnerable, and they each took a moment to appreciate the other. They knew what the other looked like naked, of course; being out on campaign afforded little privacy. But in this context, Felix was seeing Sylvain in a whole new light. He now had free reign to touch whatever he wanted and be touched. It was exhilarating.

When their eyes met again, the moment was over. Felix grasped Sylvain by the shoulders and pulled him down to kiss him. Their lips moved together, soft and pliant, then Sylvain poked the tip of his tongue against Felix’s mouth, asking for entrance. Felix parted his lips and let Sylvain explore his mouth, gently and slowly. He wasn’t brave enough to attempt that himself yet, though he did allow his own tongue to brush against Sylvain’s a few times.

Every barrier between them was gone, both physical and mental. Felix didn’t usually allow himself to let his guard down, but with Sylvain, it was easy. He knew that nothing bad would happen to him while he was wrapped in these strong arms. It had been that way since childhood. When he was sad or hurt or in trouble, he sought out these arms whenever possible. And now he could forget about the war and all the suffering and death it was causing. He could forget about the pain and loss of his past. With Sylvain, he felt safe and needed and adored. It was all he’d ever wanted, but also it wasn’t enough. He needed more.

Felix took Sylvain’s hand from where it had been stroking his hair again, loosening the hair tie, and started to move it down his body. Sylvain broke the kiss so he could focus on what Felix wanted him to do next.

“Touch me,” Felix breathed, guiding Sylvain’s hand between them to where their erections were pressed together.

Again, Sylvain obliged the younger man’s command and took both of them in his large hand, moaning loudly as he stroked them together and spread the slick leaking from their heads down their lengths. Felix let out a small gasp and surrendered himself to his lover’s touch as the pressure and heat began to build inside. When his rhythm started to change from steady to erratic, Sylvain pulled his hand away with a groan.

Felix was suddenly, irrationally, afraid that he had done something wrong, or that Sylvain was having second thoughts about being with him. “What is it? What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Sylvain leaned his forehead against Felix’s. “Nothing at all. It’s just, it would be far too easy for me to come just by doing that, and I’m not sure I want it to all be over so soon. Is that okay?” He kissed the tip of Felix’s nose. “Can we make this last as long as possible?”

Relaxing at the words, Felix nodded. “As long as you keep touching me, we could do this until the sun comes up.”

Sylvain grinned wolfishly. “Is that a challenge? I’ve been told I have impressive stamina.”

Felix made a face at the mention of Sylvain’s previous intimate encounters. “No. And don’t talk about your extensive list of former lovers while we’re naked in bed. Better yet, don’t ever talk about them again. I don’t need to be reminded that I’m far from your first lay.”

“You got it, Fe. Sorry.” He stroked Felix’s cheek, dispelling the flash of anger that had come over him. “But for what it’s worth, you’ll be my last if I have any say in it.”

“I guess that’ll have to do.” Felix leaned his cheek into Sylvain’s hand and kissed his palm. 

“Plus, look on the bright side. You get to reap the benefits of all of my experience. I am quite skilled at all of this.”

Felix punched him in the shoulder, and Sylvain just laughed, peppering kisses all over Felix’s chest and neck.

Desperately needing a change of subject, Felix asked, “So what did you have in mind for making this last as long as possible?”

“Oh, I’ve got all sorts of ideas, if you’re game.” Sylvain winked, causing Felix’s heart to jump in his chest again. How many times had he seen that idiot wink over the years, even the occasional ones aimed at him? Now it had some sort of power over him, the power to make both his heart and dick jump.

“I’m game.” Felix’s confident tone faltered. “Just, you might have to lead me through it. I’ve never…” He stopped, ashamed at the implied confession.

Try as he might, Sylvain couldn’t keep the look of surprise from his face. “Never? No one’s ever wanted a piece of this sweet ass?”

Indignant and embarrassed, Felix pushed Sylvain off of him so he could sit up and turn away, hugging his knees. “No, I’ve never been with another person. I mean, I’ve experimented with myself, so I know what I like. But I had no interest in bringing anyone else into it. There’s only ever been one person I wanted to touch me this way.” He brought his eyes around to Sylvain’s almost shyly.

Sylvain came to his knees to gather Felix back into his arms and hold him tightly, stroking up and down his back. “My sweet, sweet Felix. That’s both adorable and incredibly hot. Don’t you worry your sexy little head.” He brought his lips to Felix’s ear and whispered, “I’m going to take such good care of you.”

A shudder swept through Felix at the heat of Sylvain’s breath and the anticipation of what Sylvain would do to him. “Then do it,” he demanded, wriggling out of Sylvain’s arms again and lying back on the bed.

Sitting back on his haunches, Sylvain stared at him hungrily. “Tell me what you’ve fantasized about me doing to you, what you’ve done to yourself. Tell me what you want, how you want it, where you want it, and I’ll do it. Anything.”

Felix knew exactly what he wanted to try first. He trailed his hand down his body, Sylvain’s eyes following eagerly, and ghosted his fingers over his hard length. “Can you put your mouth…?”

“Absolutely.” Sylvain launched himself at Felix and dragged his hands down his chest to tenderly hold his hips. He pressed kisses down his torso, to his hips and inner thighs, purposely skimming by where he knew Felix wanted him. When Felix growled in annoyance and hit him with his knee, Sylvain chuckled and finally brought his lips to his cock, laying sloppy kisses around the head and down to the base and licking his way back up. Then, without warning, he took all of him in his mouth in one smooth motion. Felix gasped as he swirled his tongue and lapped and sucked as if Felix was a feast and he hadn’t eaten in a week. Despite himself, Felix let loose a small moan, causing Sylvain to glance up at him. Their eyes met, and the asshole had the nerve to wink at Felix, even with his mouth full of dick.

Though he wanted to be annoyed at Sylvain’s cockiness, Felix was overwhelmed with the pleasure he was giving him. This was like nothing Felix had been able to do on his own. The warm wetness of Sylvain’s tongue moving in unpredictable ways. The sight of that shock of red hair bobbing up and down between his legs. The appreciative noises that left Sylvain’s throat, rumbling against Felix’s head and causing all new sensations. All combined to cause the fire to build quickly in his groin.

“Syl, I…I’m...” He could barely form any coherent thoughts, much less words and sentences. His fingers wound in Sylvain’s hair, tapping and pushing ineffectually. Luckily, Sylvain knew exactly what he was trying to convey and popped off with a loud, wet sound.

“Not ready to be done yet, hmm?” Kissing the head of Felix’s cock one more time, Sylvain sat up and made a show of wiping his hand over his mouth, where saliva and precum had leaked out, and sucked his own fingers one by one. “You’re delicious, Fe.” His lips curled in a smirk.

Felix growled as he brought Sylvain’s lips back to his and wrapped his legs around his waist. It was Sylvain’s turn to be overcome with his desire, slowly unraveled by Felix, taken apart piece by piece. He wanted to wipe the smug smile from his face and replace it with a look of ecstasy. Felix snuck his hand between them, twirling his finger around himself and wetting it with saliva and precum. Then he brought it under Sylvain’s thigh to his own hole and gently pressed in.

Sylvain pulled back and peeked down at Felix’s hand.

“I’d be more than happy to do that for you.” He trailed his fingers down Felix’s arm toward his moving hand.

“No. I want you to watch. Then I want you to fuck me.”

Finally, Felix was treated to a shudder. Throughout this whole exchange, Sylvain had been so unflappable, with his sultry words and seductive actions. But now, that controlled facade was cracking and Felix wanted to see it all come tumbling down. He wanted to see Sylvain completely undone, at his mercy. He wanted to be the reason Sylvain’s legs turned to jelly and his brain to mush. He wanted it to be his name on Sylvain’s lips as he came.

He pushed Sylvain off of him toward the foot of the bed and spread his legs, knees up, so the redhead had a front row seat to the show. Saliva wasn’t the best lubricant, but it would have to do. He hadn’t thought to grab anything else; how could he have known where this night would go?

When a small grimace crossed Felix’s face at the dryness as he stretched himself, Sylvain reached forward and stilled his hand. Before Felix could object, he shook his head.

“Wait, I have something that will help.”

“Wha--” Felix started, but Sylvain leaned over him to the nightstand drawer, where he extracted a vial of oil.

Felix narrowed his eyes as Sylvain sat back on the bed and shook it teasingly.

“When did you…?”

“I snuck it in there while the tea was brewing, just in case. I knew it was a longshot, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get it back before you saw it if you rejected me, but it was a chance I was willing to take.” He smirked. “Aren’t you glad I came prepared?”

Once again, Sylvain proved himself to be a thoughtful person while at the same time being completely infuriating. Felix snatched it from his hand, popping the cork and slathering it on his fingers. After closing it again, he tossed it at Sylvain, who caught it deftly.

“Don’t touch me again until I tell you to,” Felix demanded. He watched Sylvain’s throat bob as he gulped and nodded, his eyes once again fixated on Felix’s fingers going in and out of himself. Felix let loose some low moans, hoping to drive Sylvain even more wild with his own vulnerability.

Once he could comfortably accommodate three fingers, he removed his hand and held it out toward Sylvain. “The vial.”

Sylvain complied silently, scooting forward on his knees toward Felix. Felix poured some oil in his hand, recorked the bottle, and tossed it back on the bed. Then he sat up on his own knees and took Sylvain in his slick hand, spreading the oil all over him. Sylvain moaned, his trembling hands hovering over Felix’s hips, unsure if he had permission to touch him yet. The redhead’s eyes were starting to glaze over with lust.

“Lay down.” Felix moved to the side so Sylvain could lay his head on the pillow, watching Felix and awaiting his next command.

Felix threw one leg over Sylvain’s lap and knelt to sit on his thighs, his apprehension returning. Once he committed to this, his pride wouldn’t let him back out. Fingering himself was one thing, but this… What if it was painful? He looked to the side and hesitated.

“What do you need, Fe?” Sylvain’s voice was quiet as he held his hands out, allowing Felix to make the move toward him.

“I’m just nervous, that’s all.” He took Sylvain’s hands, lacing their fingers together, and turned his eyes on him, as though daring him to make fun of him. But he found nothing except gentleness, patience, and understanding.

Sylvain sat up and put his back against the headboard. “Can I help?” Felix nodded, and Sylvain took his hips. “Do you want to face toward me or away?”

Felix considered both options. He could watch Sylvain come apart underneath him as he rode him, but then Sylvain would be able to see Felix do the same. Facing away would give Sylvain a better angle to grip his dick and help him come, plus his own expressions would be hidden, but then he couldn’t see Sylvain. He decided to be brave.

“Toward you.”

“Okay.” Sylvain pulled him closer, and Felix lifted himself up to hover over Sylvain’s leaking dick. “Do you trust me?” 

“With my life,” Felix responded without hesitation.

“What about with your body and your heart?” Sylvain had to have known the answer by this point, but he wanted to draw Felix out of his comfort zone just a bit more so he could allow himself to be completely unguarded and relaxed.

“Yes,” Felix breathed.

“Good. I’ve got you. Let me know if it’s too much.” Sylvain grabbed his own dick with one hand and pulled down on Felix’s hip with the other, lining them up so he could press his head just inside.

Felix gasped and closed his eyes, focusing all his attention on the foreign feeling, which was neither pleasure nor pain. He grabbed Sylvain’s shoulders for support and Sylvain’s warm hands wrapped around his ass and held him steady as he became adjusted to the stretch.

Sylvain was trying to maintain his controlled persona, but Felix could feel his hands and thighs trembling beneath him, and he knew that the knight was starting to lose himself to the haze of lust. He was probably also exercising every ounce of self-control he had not to thrust up into Felix before he was ready, for which Felix was grateful.

“That’s good, Fe. You’re, ungh, doing so well.” 

Felix groaned at the praise, dropping his head forward. His thighs started to quake at holding himself up and at the sensations assailing his body. Sylvain held strong, though, so Felix didn’t drop and take too much too soon. He was also massaging the muscles in his hands to relax Felix even further. They were both breathing heavily with their efforts, and every now and then, Felix chanced to look up at Sylvain. When their eyes would meet, his breath would catch in his throat at the love that shone in those russet eyes.

“Okay,” Felix finally uttered, lifting his head and pushing his ass back against Sylvain’s hands. “Let...let me go.”

Sylvain removed his hands from their steadying position and reached up to run his hands through Felix’s loose indigo locks. The curtain of hair softened the sharp edges of Felix’s face, and Sylvain felt a surge of affection.

“So beautiful.” Then he leaned his back against the headboard so he could relax and accept what Felix gave him. “Take what you need, sweetheart.”

Felix scowled. “No pet names. I don’t want to be called something you’ve called someone else.”

“I’ve never called anyone else that.” He cocked his head. “Come to think of it, I only ever called them ‘baby,’ and that was usually just when I couldn’t be bothered to remember their names.”

Felix narrowed his eyes and searched Sylvain’s for insincerity. When he found none, he pretended to consider the nickname as he lowered himself, inch by inch, finally bottoming out with a moan.

"Hmm, maybe,” Felix breathed as he adjusted to the fullness inside him. “What else have you got? Give me some options and I'll choose." He welcomed the distraction until the discomfort could fade into pleasure.

"Honey," Sylvain offered as Felix began raising himself up. Felix scowled again and shook his head.

“Gross. Next.”

“Mmm, cupca--ahh--” Sylvain groaned as Felix took him in again, but Felix stopped where he was.

"No, keep talking or I won’t move." He circled his hips, drawing forth another moan from Sylvain. “I don’t care what you say, just keep talking.”

Sylvain growled in frustration and tried to concentrate, gripping Felix’s thighs to ground himself. Felix could move more freely now, so he quickened the pace just a little.

“Okay, um, darling, kitten, sunshine.” Sylvain’s head dropped back against the headboard as Felix began to move faster.

“That’s..oh, fuck, Fe, that’s so good…” 

Felix adjusted his position so that with each drop, Sylvain’s cock was hitting that sweet spot inside him. His brain turned off and he was unabashedly moaning now, only vaguely registering the words pouring from Sylvain’s mouth.

“Dear heart, love, my heart, my moon and stars, my everything, my, my, my…” Sylvain’s litany of pet names devolved into a repetitious chant of, “mine, mine, mine,” with each of Felix’s bounces on his cock as he chased his release.

“Fe...I...I’m close.” Sylvain’s fingertips dug into Felix’s thighs so deeply, he knew he would probably have bruises tomorrow.

Putting his hands on the headboard to steady himself, Felix leaned down and rested his forehead on Sylvain’s.

“Come inside me, Syl.”

Sylvain started thrusting up to match Felix, moaning a steady stream of praise, pet names, and nonsense. His whole body tensed as he came, curling up toward Felix and letting loose a loud, guttural cry of “Felix!” Felix kept up the pace until Sylvain fell back against the headboard, spent and sweaty. But even before his breathing had returned to normal, he reached up and took Felix’s cock in his hand.

“Your turn.” 

The pace he set was hard and fast, and Felix’s nerves were already on fire from feeling Sylvain’s orgasm inside him. Felix came quickly, arching his back and covering Sylvain’s chest and stomach with cum. Sylvain stroked him through it, then Felix fell forward onto Sylvain, uncaring that now he was also covered in cum. Sliding out of his ass, Sylvain wrapped his arms around his lover and held him close while he came back down from his high.

“That was amazing,” Sylvain purred, brushing Felix’s hair away from his damp forehead. “You were...wow. Just so beautiful.”

“I feel disgusting,” Felix replied into Sylvain’s clavicle.

“Yeah, well, that’s part of it. Girls have it good; they don’t make a complete mess when they orgasm.”

“I’ll take you and messy over some girl and clean every time.”

“Aw, Fe, that’s so sweet!”

Felix scoffed but he couldn’t help but smile. His heart felt so full. He could still scarcely believe that Sylvain loved him and was holding him now after having fucked him senseless. It may have just been the afterglow, but Felix could actually imagine them getting out of this war in one piece and settling down. They could have a happy life and fulfill that childhood promise in the best way possible, by growing old and gray together. 

Sylvain patted his back to draw his attention. “Come on, let’s clean up.”

“Don’t wanna.” Felix relaxed completely onto Sylvain, becoming dead weight and as limp as a rag doll as Sylvain went to push him up.

“Just scoot over to the side for a minute.”

Groaning, Felix complied, smushing his face against a pillow and allowing Sylvain to once again reach over to the nightstand drawer. From it, he lifted a small bowl of water and a cloth, which he placed on top of the nightstand. Felix’s face was still pressed into the pillow when he spoke.

“How much shit did you hide in my bedroom?”

Sylvain chuckled. “This is the last of it, I swear. I wanted to make this as easy for you as possible.”

Felix rolled his eyes into the pillow, hoping Sylvain didn’t see the blush creep to his ears.

Heating the water with a fire spell, Sylvain rolled Felix onto his back and began wiping him down. Then he cleaned himself up and put the bowl and cloth back on the nightstand. 

“Come here.” Sylvain held out his arms after crawling under the blankets. Felix did as requested, resting his head on Sylvain’s chest and draping an arm over his stomach. His eyes were heavy and his body exhausted after their exertions, and he wanted nothing more than to rest in Sylvain’s strong, warm arms, lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his heartbeat.

“Did you decide which pet name you liked best?” Sylvain asked when Felix was hovering between consciousness and sleep. 

“Love’s fine,” he muttered, only half aware of what he was saying.

“Simple and to the point.” Sylvain squeezed him. “Love it is. Sleep well, love. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Hmm.”

…

Sylvain grunted awake as a sharp elbow was thrust into his ribs.

“Ow!” He rolled over and cracked his eyes to see his assailant, finding a fully dressed Felix, hair already tied back into a ponytail. The swordsman was sitting on the edge of Sylvain’s side of the bed, pulling his thigh highs on over his boots.

“Get up. We’re going to train.”

“What?” The sky behind the curtains was still a dark gray, indicating it couldn’t be much past 6 AM. “Why? It’s so early!” Sylvain whined, rolling back over away from Felix and covering his head with his pillow.

“I had tea with you, now you have to train with me. That was the deal.” He stood up and poked Sylvain in the shoulder repeatedly with his finger.

Pulling the pillow from his head, Sylvain stared up at Felix with shock in his eyes. “What? Even after…” He gestured vaguely between Felix and himself, unsure what to call what happened last night.

“Why would that have altered our deal? As far as I’m concerned, the fact that we’re together now is a reason to train harder. After all, before I only had friends I could lose in battle. Now, I have a best friend who is also a partner, my lover who holds my heart.” Blushing slightly at his own words, he reached down and trailed his fingers over Sylvain’s cheek. The redhead closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. A faint smile graced Felix’s lips before he smacked Sylvain’s cheek just enough to sting for a second.

“Now get up, Gautier.”

Groaning, Sylvain pushed himself up to sitting and stretched his arms over his head. Felix stared shamelessly as the knight’s muscles flexed and shifted with his movements.

“You better make this up to me tonight, Fraldarius.” He winked when he caught Felix’s gaze.

Felix turned away from Sylvain before the voice telling him to strip down and get back into bed won the argument in his head. “That depends on how seriously you take our sparring session today.” Felix threw Sylvain’s clothes at him, hitting him in the face.

Sylvain laughed. “In that case, you’re going down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love selfless lover Sylvain and dominant but inexperienced Felix. Thanks for reading!


End file.
